Brunch or Die Scones
I Thank the Universe for its vivid creativity and the phat coffee haul it recently unloaded on me.
Coffee is essential along with booze (which is in scarce supply-duh,) And chocolate too., that’s an eternal truth. So “Yes!” - I accept that it is our destiny to continue, but can’t it also be fun?
There are the “hunters” “gatherers” “planters” “builders” “surveyors” “defenders” “seller guides” “teller guides” took them a a minute to figure that there is a need for “Inspiritors”. Ok what they really learned is that there is a need for cooks, because food is “ non-neg*” .
Food is nourishment and entertainment, “essential for group morale”. Got it. So now I have an official use, Thank the Universe because it was rough for a while. For at least 7 long and miserable winters I lived in dreadful. little pieces in an overturned dollhouse: broken furniture. chipped cups, jerry-rigged kitchen appliances, dusty clothes. But my two-second flat-baked treats (they were down the gullet in two seconds flat) had them giving fey, twee, helpless l’il ol’ me nother look. Hah!
Books line the perimeter of the Range. So many books. And lots are interesting and beautiful, too beautiful and interesting to be used just s a wall. (Yes I know shelter and security take precedence over Art) . The cookbooks on the side of the gnarly rooted tree is my spot.
Every season, or so, there’s a cache haul. The Devotionals usually demand a Gratitude Ceremony, I make batches and batches of Benificence treats. I improvise on recipes and switch out ingredients for what we have available.
Last summer’s cache haul provided a phab gift- Roxy Chox. Her channel on a loop, by some freak show of EMP -is my bonus. Big damn bonus. Living in a pink laptop with a Be Kind rainbow sticker covering a bullet-shaped indentation(?) Like the miracle of the Hanukkah oil Roxy made three episodes about She flickers like an undying Celebrationist flame from another time. She was sent to me to help me put the doll house back together. To guide me out of a harsh and ugly era with bright color and gorgeous flavor with a dash of “Je ne sais quoi”- Darrin.
I’m allowing myself to think back to the parties in PRE* . My 8th Bratz themed birthday party With a pink and purple cake that perfectly matched the emailed invites? My grandmother hired a manicurist to give us the Bratz treatment. Too easy.
There were the summer of neighborhood pool parties and banging cookouts: hamburgers and hot dogs and piles and piles of fresh food that almost seemed like decoration it was so colorful and plentiful. Pitchers of clolorfully sweating cocktails and magical elixirs, fresh water that had no use other than water gun fights. And I also think about the garbage cans filled with burgers with just- a-bite missing, the jungle of discarded lettuce and veggies, and I think the Devotionals retributionists might be right?
I have been uplifted by Roxy’s message of Celebrationism. It’s the End of The World as we know it is my favorite episode. Coffee, Booze, and Chocolate. She’s right about all that. But since booze is scarce, cannabis gets my vote. I give Thanks (squared) that there’s plenty of it.
This Autumn I’m going to make Soutine a birthday party that he’ll remember for all his life, no matter what happens. But right now I’m planning/preparing for Bookclub Brunch, we’re reading a book from the smoker wall section (English Classics) and I’m serving scones to go with the coffee haul (And tea for the sedated of course, of course).
Wesley and Hilliard are coming, they even read the book, not surprising since they are both Devotionals and Creators, but Ramapa also is joining! Surprising for a seller guide b/c they’re usually in the field at brunch-time. She has not read the book, though.
Putting it out there into the great Universe that I find Big Bite Banquet in a cache hauls, soon. That’ll be for my own bookshelf in the dollshouse.
Darrin’s Brunch rules from the Brunch or Die episode:
Brunch is a state of mind
Savory AND Sweet
Brunch goes well with Spirituality especially on Sundays
Demand polite company, manners, and good convo’s
Give a damn ! Dress up!
Roxy’s PB Oatmeall Choc Chip Scones:
2 cups flour
1 cup quick oats (I used regular)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup unsalted butter, cold (I used cold Crisco- we have tons)
3/4 cup buttermilk (I used evaporated milk with a tsp of vinegar mixed in)
1 egg (I omitted, obvi)- and it was fine if not a little heavy)
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2/3 cups of chocolate chips
Oven between 375F and 400F. Cover a baking sheet with non toxic fire resistant paper.
In a big bowl whisk together flour, oats, sugar, baking powder and soda, salt and cinnamon.
Using a metal fork mash the Crisco into the dry mixture. Until it becomes crumbly.
3. In the can of evaporated milk whisk together the peanut butter and vanilla (I’m lazy you can also use a bowl or a big measuring cup for this)
4. Pour wet ingredients from the can into dry ingredients in bowl, mix well but not too much add the chocolate chips, mix together so that a sticky dough forms, gather the crumbs, and add to the big dough. With flour on your hands press the dough into a disk, place it on the baking sheet, and cut into eight slices (like a pizza…sigh, I miss pizza).
5. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown and crispy on the outside but still soft and gooey on the inside.
6. Coffee, scones, and book brunch conversation!
