Waffle Souffle rises again
TBH I’ve been feeling nervous and apprehensive and insecure and unstable, and call me a crazy, delusional Leo but the antidote has always been to throw a party. I’m fucking with the way to reduce the boulder of dread sitting like a tyrant on my chest is with a concentrated jolt of positive energy. A banger, a banquet, an escape from the immovable weight of a terrifying situation. A way to reinvent the present.
Ok I’ve had enough of this doom and gloom, grime and crime, I am throwing it all off, I have like $55 to my name right now, but my rent is paid for the month and I have a set of really nice dishes, a fancy coffee maker and a waffle iron, a good one,. So with $15 from my last $55, I buy a box of pancake mix from Dollar General on the corner. And splurge on some buttermilk and Irish butter from Key Foods and use the eggs I got from the farmer’s market last week. I kiss myself for having the presence of mind to take the vanilla paste in my kitchen sweep before I was ejected from my regularly scheduled life.
And so they’re coming for breakfast for dinner at 9:00 pm a mutually convenient time for everyone. But I can’t just serve them a standard waffle with maple syrup as stunning as my gold rimmed dishes are and as bespoke as the Vermont maple syrup is, no I have a reputation to introduce. On the guest list: Callum my neighbor downstairs, who I’m almost certain is gay and Monica is the cool looking somewhat eccentric older lady I picked up at Key Foods. Maybe I am as delusional as Brett says I am, I’m sure his father is supplying him with his lines of attack. You are delusional, you are a drug addict, you are a slattern ( that one has his mother’s fingerprints all of it, she the voracious reader of romance novels).
8:00 pm I preheat the toaster oven to 350F, pull the foil off of the pyrex casserole bowl. Let it come to room temperature on the counter. I spend the next 15 minutes breaking down moving boxes and generally trying to tidy up. I don’t have a couch yet but I do have a sturdy wood table that extends to fit 4-6 people and 3 wood and rattan folding chairs.
70 minutes later in the dining corner: My waffle concoction is resting on a marble pedestal (Bloomingdales). We gather around the table to observe well appointed, eclectically attired table: gold rimmed porcelain dishes and jadeite goblets, Delft serving utensils, and a crystal vase filled with candy. Welcome, to my humble abode..
Callum: It smells sublime, what is it…?
Monica: He has risen..!
Bish: I’m calling it a waffle souffle.
Callum: The tablescape is worth mentioning.
Monica: It’s a cross between rich suburbanite , latin grandma, and Holly Golightly.
After they dispense with a few rounds of high voltage praise and admiration, we get down to business and I serve them slices of the souffle with the option of butter and warmed maple syrup as an accoutrement. We talk about how much we all love breakfast for dinner, and that we are going to start a dining society and call it the Breakfast club, but this is just polite and amusing banter as we dig into our dishes.
Callum: Oh Gawd! What are you doing to me you cooking vixen, you kitchen temptress. I literally can’t stop eating this. I hate you, I hate you. I love you. I am going to have to go to the gym after this.
Monica: Not me I just want to curl up like a cat on my couch and have my stomach rubbed after this.
Callum: It’s so goddamned light and fluffy
Monica: That’s my kitty’s middle name
Callum: light and fluffy?
Monic: Just Fluffy I mean his full name is James Fluffington Delgado. I got full custody, but he kept his father’s name.
2 hours later and Monica was in her apartment a block and half away on the couch with James Fluffington Delgado/Fluffy just as she manifested. Meanwhile, Callum and I are sitting on the floor on a couple of oversized tapestry floor cushions Lainey gave me when she moved to Boca. That’s when Callum finds out I’m a lapsed actress and learns that I need a gig and so he offers to hook me up with the ESL tutoring program he gigs at in between jobs.
Callum: They’re looking for expressive types, you know language learning is a lot about performance
Totally, absolutely, 100% I say, and what are they paying?
Waffle Souffle
10-12 waffles (if you’re making them from a mix use the whole box)
1/2 cup -3/4 cup buttermilk
3 eggs, slightly beaten
1/4 cup browned butter’
1-2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon brown sugar, optional
Directions:
Assemble waffles in a casserole dish so that covers the enture surface and fills it.
In a bowl combine buttermilk, eggs, browned butter, vanilla, maple syrup. Whisk until somewhat frothy.
Pour over waffles, let sit in fridge for a couple hours or overnight. When ready to bake pre heat oven to 350F. Sprinkle waffles with brown sugar and bake uncovered until browned and risen.