TRIPPIO DONUT PARFAIT
INT. “Friends”era Coffeehouse - DAY
Scene opens to a Barista behind the counter. She is wearing a faded green baby t. shirt, baggy carpenter-style jeans, Heidi braids topped off with a lavender silk head scarf. She is stationed behind a monolithic espresso machine, with a look of befuddled concentration across her features she crafts a complicated coffee order.
A collection of slacker-type extras are posed in conversation and contemplation on the flea-market couches and armchairs.
The door swings open and in walks a middle-aged woman, wearing flared tweed trousers and a paisley vintage blouse, she quickly scans the Coffeehouse, when she recognizes the Barista she makes a beeline for her.
PP Rach:
Found you! And could this be more perfect? Your life as a Friends outtake? You’re the off-brand Rachel Green, sans the iconic coiffeur and a fraction of her wardrobe budget.
Nineties Barista RayRay:
(absently tugging on a braid)
Hello there, strangely-familiar-middle-aged-lady. Wait a sec—did n’t you interview me last week for a PR job?
PP Rach:
(over-brightly)
As if! Ok here it is, I’m just going to lay it out straight. I’m you. Only in…. the future!
Nineties Barista Ray:
(bursts out laughing, and then playfully proceeds to interrogate)
Whatta city! Truly chock full of nuts. So…..? What’s your sun sign, moon sign, and rising sign, hmmm?
PP Rach:
That’s the best you got? Easy. Sun in Libra, Moon in Libra, Pisces rising. Amazing that we haven’t floated clear away yet.
Nineties Barista RR
(with a surprised/intrigued look)
Wow, I’m flattered, you’ve done your research! OK fine, I’ll play. So how far forward are you coming back from? And, do you specifically time travel to the 70’s to shop for your clothing?
PP Rach:
Haha, good one. I’m coming from 2022. And I gotta say I miss this place. New York City in the 90’s $2 Lattes, Birkenrock, Pre-Nine Eleven, Pre Pandemic.
Nineties Barista RayRay:
Wait, what? Pandemic? That sounds dystopian. in a medieval kinda way.
Is it the Bubonic Plague resurrected? Or some other crazy horror movie premise?
PP Rach:
It’s not the bubonic plague, But it is medieval.
It’s a cold the entire world catches, and then we go nuts, en masse.
Nineties Barista:
(with a dismissive wave of the hand)
So then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999
PP Rach:
I gotta say I do love the disaffected X-er vibe, paired with a je ne sais quoi milkmaid chic
(coming closer)
Oh how I long to shake you, and then I want to hug you. But first let me admire your tight poreless skin. Tell me darling have you made sure to take a bunch of bikini pics yet?
Nineties Barista:
(retreating)
Back away crazy lady! This conversation is veering towards the creepy.
PP Rach:
Relax, darling child! It’s just that you’re so hot and full of youth and potential. You’re at the height of your “bloom” as Jane Austen would have it. In the future during your more wobbly moments, You’re gonna want to be able to stare longingly at your vanquished youth
Nineties Barista RR:
I feel like I’m in the middle of an existential dystopian/Back to the Future plot.
It’s Reality Bites meets Back to the Future.
PP Rach:
Precocious little twit. But don’t worry Not everything is doom and gloom. Remember that dream we had as a kid in the 80’s?
Nineties Rachel:
Which one? The fountains of grape soda or the mix tape store?
PP Rach:
It’s not a store, but every song ever recorded WILL BE AVAILABLE ON YOUR PHONE!!!
Nineties Barista
(takes out her flip phone and looks at it curiously)
PP Rach:
Ok I’m just gonna come out and say it. Bust through your fragile double libra-Pisces hyper- sensitive force field. You’re squandering your potential. You’re undervaluing yourself, and the world has no choice but to follow suit.
Nineties Barista:
(with a stiff upper lip)
Who are you? You can’t possibly be me? I’m here for the experience, Like tonight I’m hosting a salon at my apartment. I’m filming it for my cable access show it’s on every other Tuesday night - it’s called Tenement Chic.
PP Rach:
I remember it. Good, great, but what did you do with it? It was a fun little project that you half-assed, You didn’t take it seriously
Nineties Barista Ray Ray:
Ouch. You’re tough! What the hell happens?
PP Rach:
Over time I learned a few things. I came to terms with some truths. And they are:
There is no substitution for Practice and Discipline. Publishing the cookbook made this clear.
Nineties Barista:
(brightening)
We published a book?…A cookbook you…Me?
PP Rach:
Food is everything. Something we all have in common. It’s a metaphor for life. I found us a
subject to write about at last. You're welcome.
Nineties Barista RR:
….I get it. I have done a few Tenement Chic cooking segments. I made these baked cheese bites in my toaster oven because my regular oven doesn’t work. You take a can of—
PP Rach:
OK here’s what I figure if you spend a modicum of time and put some serious effort into it, you can lay a pretty good foundation, that would take me at this point further in. You need to go to more of the “right” parties, make better publishing connections. While you’re young and hot and literate. That and a sturdy sense of discipline, and you’ll set us up. The world loves youth and beauty, Do something with it. Now.
Ninetiies Barista RR:
If you say I end up as a food writer doesn’t it make sense that I work in a coffeehouse? Even as a waitress? I was terrible at publishing company office jobs. People are much happier when I caffeinate and feed them.
PP Rach:
You have a degree in Art History and English Lit. Why don’t you get a job at a culinary magazine, Bon appetit? Gourmet,? Quick before it shuts down. Better yet why don’t you get in on the ground floor with Martha Stewart Inc.
Just then an older woman dressed in a pair of flowy cream silk pajamas, fingers covered in a crystal rocked cocktail rings strides into the Coffeehouse. She takes in the scene with a delighted smile and then turns her attention to the coffee bar and recognizes the two women at the counter and gamely joins them.
Hellllllo beauteous bebés!
(Nineties Barista R & PP Rach
stare in dumbfounded silence)
Advanced Age Rox:
The future is wild so hang onto your babuschkas bubelahs (she winks at )Barista Girl ) Can you imagine? We’re in retrograde while simultaneously going Direct. It’s astro-meshugas!
PP Rach:
Directly into what?
AA Rox:
Some things are better left unsaid.
PP Rach:
It’s the end of times isn’t it?
Nineties Barista:
(wailing)
Dystopian Nuclear Nightmare? My childhood fears come true.
AA Rox:
Ladies, ladies practice your breathing (to PP Rach) show her how.
Nineties Barista RayRay:
Just tell me do we find love? Do we have a family?
PP Rach:
What happened with cook/book?
AA Rox:
I’m not being fatalistic by saying its better you don’t know. I mean if you knew what was coming would you do it? (to PP Rach) Would you get married and have kids write your book if you had a quick download but no context? No. But I’m here to tell you, and she’s here to tell you, and the universe is here to tell you that everything happens exactly as it was supposed to.
PP Rac:
Just tell me for the Love of God do we publish cook/book?
Advanced Age Rox:
My sweet Carciofi all Guidia. I’ll give you a helpful hint that this little one already knows (nodding at Nineties
Barista) but you seemed to have forgotten it along the way: There is no need to ask permission. Just go forth and Publish (belting it) and do it My waaaaay!
Nineties Barista
In my experience, you’re never giving bad advice when you quote Frank Sinatra.
PP Rach:
Cute vintagey cultural reference.
AA Rox:
“Cute” is such a lazy word it means nothing, a four letter word with no impact. Like “nice” and “good” You must make your words work harder.
Nineties Barista:
As fascinating as this comic psycho-metaphysical drama that spans decades and apparently inter-generational catastrophe is I have approximately two dozen guests arriving at my apartment in 4 hours. If you
know anything at all in your maturity and wisdom, please tell me what to serve them! Give me something delicious. People like you and are happy with you when you give them something delicious, especially if it’s
free.
PPRach:
I think you should make something lavish and potent.
Nineties Barista :
Whatever booze budget I have is going to cheap champagne.
PP Rach:
I was thinking of a resource you are already swimming in.
PP Rach, Nineties, AA Rox:
COFFEE!
AA Rox:
(gesticulating energetically)
I see it. A Coffeehouse Chic layered parfait served in those fabulous glass mugs.
PPRach:
(getting in on the act)
Brew a Trippio, bag those stale donuts. Spike some cook and serve pudding mix
with concentrated coffee flavor. Frothy whipped cream on top….
Nineties Barista RayRay:
I’ll shave some good chocolate on top for effect and taste. People melt for chocolate.
AA Rox :
Trippio Donut Parfait, that’s the title of this episode! In the can.
INGREDIENTS:
4 stale donuts
long shot of espresso
Vanilla instant pudding mix + milk required in recipe on box
2 teaspoon instant coffee +1 tbsp. boiling water
Whipped cream + chocolate for grating or shavng on top.
METHOD:
Pour a few drops of espresso into 4 coffee cups or muga
cut donut to fit into the mug ontop of the espresso
Make Pudding according to package direction, add coffee concentrated coffee syrup to mix
before you begin to stir.
Pour coffee pudding on top of donut.
Refrigrate until the pudding cools and sets. Topped with whipped cream and sprinkle with chocolate.
Bon Appetito!
